I am not happy.
And I wish to stay 
in this state for a while.
I am somehow hating my smile.
Somehow hating my every 
smiling pic ever taken.
I deleted all the smiling pics 
that were stored in my phone.
I want to get rid of this sweetness.
Its nauseating.
Its utterly nauseating.
I feel like scratching my face off.
Just stay blank.
People will question me.
They will not like it.
They will ask me “why”.
And I’ll remain quiet.
Because for now 
I can’t.
If I smile I would be faking it.
And I don’t want to be a fake
for other’s sake.
So let me be not happy for a while.
And here I ask the question
my favourite question of all times
“Would you want me when I am Not Myself?”

PS: Dear John Mayer, I Love You.

2 thoughts on “"Would you want me when I am Not Myself?"

  1. love it… it's ok to feel the way you feel..it's ok not to smile! 🙂 that's sheer honesty… lovd what you wrote! 🙂


  2. You know some days ago I was outraged about something & someone asked me to smile. I just wanted to say. No, I can't smile 24 * 7. I am not a statue. It is ok to not smile once in a while. But remember to smile back soon 🙂 *hugs* :* :*


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