I know I don’t usually follow your protocols. I don’t say my prayers, I don’t visit you in temples and I don’t really do anything to acknowledge the fact of your existence in my life. But I know that you know that I trust you. I know that you know that I know that you are there looking out for me. I know that you have some intention behind making me go through all this. And even though I don’t know what I am supposed to do, or what the end result is going to be, I know that you know it all. So, thank you. Thank you for being there for me.
I know you are listening because I cried yesterday. And after a really long time, I really cried yesterday and may be even you realised that I wasn’t crying in vain and so you blessed me with today. Today – a day when surprisingly after a long time I woke up calmly. When those harrowing voices inside my head are silent for a change. When I even chanced upon smiling a little bit. When my mom came up to me and said that she knows that I am not happy. So thank you God. Thank you for today.
Believe me, God, I don’t blame you for anything. I know it is somehow my Karma. I know that you would not let this go for long and when the time comes you will show me the path. You will give me all my answers. I also know that not all the answers will be to my liking. There would be tough decisions to be made and probably more stress and tensions. But, dear God, I will not blame you for any of it. (And I know that if in the heat of the moment I do, you’ll know that i don’t mean it.)
I love you, God. I wish I could hug you and tell you that I do. I wish I could hug you and cry because I know there wouldn’t be a better shoulder to do so. Because in this entire universe there is no one other than you who knows me as well as you do. I mean even I don’t know me as well as you do. So, dear God, please continue to watch out for me. And know that I am really thankful to you.
Lots of love,
PS: When did you take away all that extra weight from my body? i didn’t even realise it! 🙂