Since childhood she was told that “M” was next to her mother in her life. But reality was something else. M wasn’t next to her mother. M wasn’t even in the list of people she would call even if she was in the gravest of danger. She despised her. M instigated her mother against her. M was the reason she could never be the friend to her mom that she always wanted to be. Quite early in life, rather as a kid itself, she realised what M was up to. But till date she hasn’t been able to figure out the reason why. She wanted to tell everybody about what M was doing. But she was just a kid and so no one believed her. Distanced from the one person she loved the most in the world, she lived on. She used to yearn for her mom to love the way she wanted her to, but M was there, constantly, by her mother’s side.

It has been years since then. Lot of things have changed now. The broken bridges have been built again. Her mom loves her, in exactly the same way she wants her to. They are friends now. Mother and daughter. But the bitterness of 18 years towards M still remains. M hasn’t stopped. M is still the same. probably more vicious. This bitterness bothers her. At times. It has soured her feelings towards M. She is not able to forgive M. Though for the sake of the clan she masks her bitterness and turns it into cordiality. Would she ever be able to forgive M?

On the flipside, but for the viciousness of M, she wouldn’t have realised how much she loves her mother. But then again there is this fact that if she would have stuck to what M did to her long time back, these words wouldn’t have seen the light of the day.

Is there way to forgive someone for all the bad that they have done to you, and continue to do so? Ok I agree that the actions aren’t there anymore but what about thoughts? How can you stop thinking that the person doesn’t think bad about you anymore? How to not judge their actions in the darkness of the past? How to see good in them? How to not doubt them? How to let go off the bitterness?

It isn’t easy. Not at all. There is this bitterness, that continuously throbbing gashes of hatred that keep spewing blood. How to heal them?

Letting go is easy but Forgiveness isn’t.

One thought on “Venom

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