I am constantly jostling the thought that may be I am cheating two sides here. Two sides who love me like anything and who only wish the best for me. I am constantly fighting that feeling of guilt and dishonesty. Again I am at crossroads of life where I have to make choices, where I need to make decisions. I have to choose between the two sides. And I suck at making decisions.
I have no clue which side to choose. I have a mental checklist of the pros and cons. While there is no guarantee for the pros for either of the choices. The cons seem pretty far-reaching and disturbing. And that is what is confusing me, terrifying me more.
I really need someone, someone unbiased, someone totally unrelated to help me make the decision. To tell me that the cons aren’t as scary as they seem to be. To give me enough strength to take that leap of faith.
At times I wonder, is what I am fighting for is actual, real love or is it the manifestation of long suppressed rebellion. Is it something that I really want or something that I am fighting just for the heck of proving my point or having my way.
I know if you read this you will be hurt. But I really cant help not thinking this.

One thought on “Which side to go?

  1. I have been here. and I have done things without thinking twice about what the repercussions would be. Now when I am shattered, left with nothing, do I wonder what if I was a little careful in taking decisions? No, I do not. I am thankful for all experiences, even if they have shoved my face in the ground and told me that I was a fool.. I think you should just do what your heart says. Life is not about pros and cons. Its about living honestly!

    Hugs 🙂

    Like

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